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Song about Abdelbaset al-Megrahi
August 26, 2009 – 4:02 pm | No Comment

kaScots Justice Secretary Kenny MacAskill has come under fire for the release of Abdelbaset al-Megrahi on compassionate grounds, a premise enshrined in Scots Law.

In plumbers’ style we recognise this event through the medium of song.

To the tune of the old Dean Martin favourite ‘amore’…

In Tripoli where saltires swing
When east meets west here’s what they say

When the plane in the sky gets blown way up high
That’s a story
When the bomber is caught then it seems that he’s not
That’s a story
Trade deals will boil cash-for-oil, cash-for-oil, cash-for-oil
And a bottle of Stella
Bleeding hearts will say set him free, set him free
Like Nelson Mandela

When there’s a heated debate about his dodgy prostate
That’s a story
When the bomb’s made in Iran and they’ve got the wrong man
That’s a story
When he’s sent home to die but yet still he ends up
Covered in glory
Scuzza me, but you see, back in old Tripoli
That’s a story

When Gadaffi and Blair have a desert secret to share
That’s a story
When the old FBI try to spin us such an obvious lie
That’s a story
Facts are chiels that winna ding, winna-ding-ding
Like a closed umbrella
The cancer they say just won’t go away, won’t go away
Much worse than rubella

When there’s no global passion for Scottish compassion
That’s a story
When the bold SNP decide to set an innocent man free
That’s a story
But although he’s gone home he must always
Memento mori
Scuzza me, but you see, back in old Tripoli
That’s the story

Popularity: 7% [?]

Nepal count rises as Lumley licks Labour
May 21, 2009 – 4:11 pm | No Comment
Nepal count rises as Lumley licks Labour

Ms Lumley, who already holds honorary Greek nationality for her services to Prince Philip, has already said that she will be delighted to accept.

Midnight Plumbers support Buy Stirling Albion campaign
May 7, 2009 – 12:22 pm | 2 Comments
Midnight Plumbers support Buy Stirling Albion campaign

Support the buy Stirling Albion campaign. Your chance to own a real football club for only £40!

Stirling Albion for sale
May 7, 2009 – 11:25 am | One Comment

here’s the promotional video

Doctors fear swine flu pandemic epidemic
April 30, 2009 – 4:26 pm | 4 Comments
Doctors fear swine flu pandemic epidemic

In further worrying developments, it has been reported that in one of the London cases, a man has spent the day in bed and has been sniffling. Doctors fear that if his symptoms do not improve soon then he may have to take a day off work.

Brown’s burning desire for Thatcher future
April 23, 2009 – 3:49 pm | No Comment
Brown’s burning desire for Thatcher future

The Prime Minister conceded that his Government was in a position where winning the next general election was difficult but that they would take every opportunity in the legislative period remaining to make their mark.

Filler
April 22, 2009 – 2:03 pm | 3 Comments

It’s close to midnight and something evil’s lurking in your tank
Under the moonlight you catch a wiff that’s smellin’ pretty rank
You try to clear but water floods the floor before you make it
You start to …

Anti-terror cop falls backwards onto his own sword
April 9, 2009 – 10:11 am | No Comment
Anti-terror cop falls backwards onto his own sword

After Mr Quit’s gaffe and fearing that suspects could be tipped off about their plans, hundreds of officers swooped upon suspects on Wednesday afternoon rather. That meant rushing out a press release saying that the raids were going to take place and not all news channels were able to be there to film the arrests.

Away man, Shearer is sacked.
April 8, 2009 – 4:38 pm | No Comment
Away man, Shearer is sacked.

A list of possible successors to Alan Shearer is being drawn up at Newcastle United following the sacking of the former striker this morning.

No mercy for Madonna says judge
April 3, 2009 – 4:19 pm | No Comment
No mercy for Madonna says judge

The judge said that Madonna was not fit to be a mother to three-year-old Mercy James. A spokesman for the multi-millionaire singer furiously denied she was unfit, saying that she had the body of a man half her age.

G20 numbers don’t add up says economist
April 2, 2009 – 3:23 pm | No Comment
G20 numbers don’t add up says economist

However the huge sums being devoted to helping troubled economies have already come under attack with several financial experts saying that there is actually no such number as a trillion.