Written on the occasion of my very important visit to the Commonwealth Games in Melbourne.

G’day mate
Fae the land down under
Miles awa
Fae the latest blunder

The Parly’s shut
I hear it’s fallin doon
Just as well
That ah’m oot o’ toon

Nats and Tories
Are rattling their sabres
Ah so whit
Ah’m watching Neighbours

Ah’ve a new hat
It’s got loads o’ corks
Ah’ve a braw villa
Paid for by the Warks

It’s nae junket
It’s fair hard work
Keeping a face
Withoot a smirk

Oh advance
Australia fair
There’s snow at home
But ah don’t care

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