Qatada 16 points

Abu Qatada, 48, one of Europe’s most influential extremists, had alleged that his conviction in Jordan was based on evidence extracted by torture. His claim was dismissed by the five anonymous Law Lords who unanimously, all except one, decreed that this couldn’t be true as he still had both hands. In their judgement, the Lords made it clear that any terrorist who claimed torture and yet didn’t have a hook as a hand was clearly a liar.

Their verdict was backed by two Home Secretary Jacquie Smith who said that Qatada, who was previously better known as pop singer Demis Roussos before he converted to Islam, was a dangerous and clearly two-handed individual. Ms Smith denied any accusation of prejudice towards Qatada on the grounds that he didn’t have a hook, saying that she still had all his records in her third residence, or her mum’s house as it used to be known. However she did admit that she felt that changing name to a word that began with a Q but not followed by a U was making a mockery of human rights and the rules of Scrabble.

Popularity: 9% [?]

Be Sociable, Share!

•