Business Secretary Lord Mandelson has had green custard thrown over him by a protester as he arrived at the launch of a low-carbon summit in London. The protester, Leila Deen, is a member of a group campaigning against a third runway at Heathrow.

The incident is the latest in a series of high-profile dessert-based attacks against politicians and celebrities. Protestors such as Ms Deen are being trained by a mysterious group known as Sweet Revenge which is reportedly part of al-Qaeda’s non-military wing. The protestors are put through months of rigorous training in camps in rural Pakistan where they are coached in techniques such as blancmange bombs and tapioca cocktails.

Sweet Revenge maintains a strict code of silence and police are finding it a trifle difficult to break down the chain of command. It is said that the first rule of pudding club is that you do not talk about pudding club.

It is believed that the attack on Lord Mandelson is part of a planned series of strikes called Operation Dessert Storm and that the alert status for spotted dick has been moved to amber.

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