Chelsea star Ashley Cole has apologised to police for a foul-mouthed rant that led to him being arrested. The player’s wife, singer Cheryl Cole, is said to be furious with him.

Cole has admitted that he called the officers disputatious polemicists when they continued to argue with him and that he went on to call them  neo-reactionary Neanderthals. The outburst continued as the player labelled the police as lickspittle lackeys and apologists for an authoritarian state that had lost his respect.

Cole said that he was particularly contrite at calling the officers Hegelian, saying he had applied a regrettably hasty and wholly inappropriate epithet as he knew in the clear light of day that the officers were, like him, simply hapless victims of a syndacalist society.

He said it would never have happened if he hadn’t been completely pissed.

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