The charge: that the accused did wilfully and with malice aforethought manufacture very small low-powered cars and flagrantly market the same to immensely fat people with poor spatial awareness thereby preventing commuters from going about their rightful daily business
Author: admin
Olympics Not Ideal
You’d think they’d get the message, but it seems that no matter how few people turn up to the festival of contrived sports that is the modern Olympic Games, they still persist in holding them. The games have cost billions of Euro to stage and as I watched the beach volleyball last night I could… Continue reading Olympics Not Ideal
Free Jeremy Clarkson!
It’s just not fair, that poor man. I speak, of course, of Jeremy Clarkson. We live in an age where intolerance will simply not be tolerated and yet poor Jeremy still feels unable to declare his true sexuality. Well, the LLF is here to help. He must be liberated from the petrol-driven shackles that bind… Continue reading Free Jeremy Clarkson!
Pining for the fjords
The charge: that he deliberately and wittingly lures feeble-brained victims to his lair and there wrongfully imprisons them for a very long time, robbing them of their money and throwing them back out onto the street clutching unwanted low-quality items of furniture
School’s A Scandal
The charge: that they wantonly and negligently stand by and do nothing while our Education system lurches from crisis to crisis, leading to a dumbing-down of academic and social standards
Tesco the Oppressor
Brothers and sisters, a great wrong has been done. I discovered today that my local “Big Issue” seller has been repeatedly moved on from his preferred patch outside Tesco by the management of the store. I’m sure you’ll agree that this sort of harassment in unacceptable. The man is responsible for selling the only reasonably… Continue reading Tesco the Oppressor
Nescafe No More
Fair trade fortnight is finally here! It’s taken seven years to get off the ground but we’ll finally be able to sink the boot into Nescafe. Gold Blend? That couple would be the first against the wall if I had my way. Evil promoters of third world poverty and they obviously get sex quite often.… Continue reading Nescafe No More