It was reported that Ms Smith was “livid and shocked” when she found out about the films and is said to have given her husband a “real ear-bashing”.

Mr Brown said that the Queen indicated she would be happy for any of her grandchildren to marry a Roman Catholic “as long as they were clean” and that this ought not to stop them from taking the throne.

It is the fifth successive week that Macmillan has been up for eviction after continually annoying heaven-mates by cycling on the pavements past the Pearly Gates while singing Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head.

TV stunner Fern Britton is set to quit ITV’s This Morning, the show she has presented with Phillip Schofield for 10 years. Her last show will be on July 17th, her 52nd (really?) birthday.
Little is …

The Edinburgh home of former RBS boss, “Sir” Fred Goodwin, has been damaged by a gang of vandals in the early hours of this morning.

“Monkeys are very much social animals and the mother would have been very conscious of losing her position among the group.”

When they didn’t heed his plea for peace, he again implored them to “calm down, calm down”. Mr Carragher admits that his client did so while pushing his chest put and with his hands on his hips in an aggressive manner but that he did not strike anyone.

Instead of using condoms, the Pope has issued a plea for abstinence and has recommended that people follow his lead and think about something off-putting when seized by the temptation for carnal lust.

Mr Jalava says that it is proving invaluable to simply to be able to have so much information at his fingertips and that he is considering pushing the innovation in technology even further.

Sir Fred has apologised for the delay but says that the bank’s rules are beyond his control and he simply has to abide by them. It is estimated that he will have repaid the advance by January 18, 2041.