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Like the New York Times we print all the news that’s fit to print. Except sometimes we make it up. Too.
Music, film, restaurants and everything else reviewed by our team of erudite plumbers
let the Midnight Plumbers tell you about the world. We’ve been everywhere.
YEARS ARE like pipes – you can look back at them, up them, down them or along them but you can’t change the crap that was in them. And as I always say, if it’s …
Who amongst us hasn’t enlisted the help of the convicted fraudster boyfriend of your former soft-porn actress best friend in order to save a few quid on a house? No, me neither.
Does Mrs Blair really …
Now I’m the last man to stand in the way of someone earning a decent wage but those firefighters are getting right up my hooter.
How can they honestly expect a 40 per cent pay rise …
Well sweeties! Aren’t the ghastly red-tops having fun with the butler and his boisterous bedroom behaviour?
Your ring m’Lord? Meiow.
Henny Throckmorton stayed over at the Windsor’s once and was so disgusted at not getting rogered by …
Having previously written about Mr Paul Burrell, former butler to the blessed Diana, and suggested that he was a thieving git who should be executed, I now discover I was wrong.
Mr Burrell is in fact …
What a rumpus about that so-called kidnap attempt on Mrs Posh Beckham by a gang of crazed Romanian gypsies. As usual the newspapers got it all wrong.
Fair enough, it wasn’t nice that the gypos wanted …
Is there no end to the indignities that poor Princess Diana must suffer?
It’s bad enough that she is being portrayed as a slapper whose ex husband is cavorting around with an elderly horse-faced woman. Now …
There’s an old newspaper saying that Man Bites Dog is not a story. Dog Bites Man, now that’s different. So why is it when an out of control bull terrier belonging to our beloved Princess …
Old John Major, eh? Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more, say no more.
Who would have believed that the old grey man and the egg lady had been going through the yes lobby together all …
I’ve been called out to fix a few swimming pools in my time. Rich nobs with more money than sense leave something floating in their pools that gum up the works. Lilos, towels, hair, rubber …
Glasgow is being terrorised by a serial killer the media have nicknamed The Cutter. The murders have left the police baffled. There seems to be neither rhyme nor reason behind the killings; no kind of pattern or motive...except for the fact that the little fingers of their right hands have been severed...
Sorry. We have no free horse racing tip for you at the moment.
Ode to the release on compassionate grounds of convicted Lockerbie bomber Abdelbaset el-Megrahi by Scots Justice Secretary Kenny MacAskill
Old FSF knew his onions when it came to stories and the pertinent word was short. Why mess with that?
Perched on a hill above the picturesque River Teme in South Shropshire, this 900-year-old market town is a visitor’s delight. Medieval and Georgian buildings at every turn, winding streets, independent shops and lots and lots …
