Sir Fred has apologised for the delay but says that the bank’s rules are beyond his control and he simply has to abide by them. It is estimated that he will have repaid the advance by January 18, 2041.

Sir Fred, said by many to be the complete banker, was known to colleagues as Fred the Garlic Bread because of his ruthless cutting of loafs from the RBS budget and replacing them with cheaper focaccia.

As all our members will know, the LLF is a caring and considerate organisation. We are dedicated to fair play, honesty, inetgrity (especially that of our catalogue) and concern for our fellow person. This is …