It is the fifth successive week that Macmillan has been up for eviction after continually annoying heaven-mates by cycling on the pavements past the Pearly Gates while singing Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head.

UKTV History has become Yesterday and Dave’s catch-up channel (+1) has be renamed, wait for it, Dave ja vu. What will the marketing experts come up with next in branding our TV viewing? Will BBC2 become …

Did you see that Derren Brown geezer do that Russian Roulette thing on Channel 4 the other night? Flipping brilliant it was. The only slight disappointment was that the smug git didn’t blow his brains …