The McConnell Log
Some smart Alex once said that Scotland will only be free when the last minister of the Kirk is strangled with the last copy of The Sunday Post. Now, thanks to Jack Topaz McConnell, that has all changed. Now they say that Scotland will only be free when the First Minister is strangled. Wee Jack, however, is much more than mere politician. Unknown to many of his countrymen, he is also poet and tragedian. For better and for verse. Much, much verse. Here, in a style owing much to lauded predecessors such as Burns, McGonagall and Dalglish, is the secret poetry of Jack Topaz McConnell.
Friday, June 25, 2004
Switzerland, oh Switzerland
Switzerland, oh Switzerland
Land o’ cuckoo clocks
Cheese wi holes and loads o’ snow
And sledging wi John Noakes
Switzerland, oh Switzerland
Land o’ army knives
Mountains, lakes and chocolate
And such dreary little lives
Switzerland, oh Switzerland
Land o’ secret bankers
Ye’ve gaen up being neutral
And stuffed them English wankers
Switzerland, oh Switzerland
There is nae praise higher
Than for Scots tae toast the land
That gied us Ursi Meier
Referee, oh referee
Yer Scottish in disguise
Oh thank you Herr McMeier
Noo try a kilt for size
Land o’ cuckoo clocks
Cheese wi holes and loads o’ snow
And sledging wi John Noakes
Switzerland, oh Switzerland
Land o’ army knives
Mountains, lakes and chocolate
And such dreary little lives
Switzerland, oh Switzerland
Land o’ secret bankers
Ye’ve gaen up being neutral
And stuffed them English wankers
Switzerland, oh Switzerland
There is nae praise higher
Than for Scots tae toast the land
That gied us Ursi Meier
Referee, oh referee
Yer Scottish in disguise
Oh thank you Herr McMeier
Noo try a kilt for size
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