The McConnell Log
Some smart Alex once said that Scotland will only be free when the last minister of the Kirk is strangled with the last copy of The Sunday Post. Now, thanks to Jack Topaz McConnell, that has all changed. Now they say that Scotland will only be free when the First Minister is strangled. Wee Jack, however, is much more than mere politician. Unknown to many of his countrymen, he is also poet and tragedian. For better and for verse. Much, much verse. Here, in a style owing much to lauded predecessors such as Burns, McGonagall and Dalglish, is the secret poetry of Jack Topaz McConnell.
Tuesday, September 21, 2004
We didn't start the Parly
Sheena Easton, Weir’s Way, Donald Dewar, Paul McStay,
Jimmy Spankie, Jimmy Krankie, Billy Connolly
Lorraine Kelly, Banquo’s ghost, Willie Carson, Sunday Post
Jimmy Shand, Burntisland, Dougie Donnelly
Denis Law, Thane o’ Cawdor, Carol Smillie, Harry Lauder
Border tart, Braveheart, Daniel Nardini
Arnold Clark, Rob Roy, Jackie Bird, Peter McCloy
Fran and Anna, Fyffye's banana, Shareen Nanjiani
We didn't start the Parly
Costs were always rising
Because of bad advising
We didn't start the Parly
No they didn't cost it
So we nearly lost it
Jimmy Spankie, Jimmy Krankie, Billy Connolly
Lorraine Kelly, Banquo’s ghost, Willie Carson, Sunday Post
Jimmy Shand, Burntisland, Dougie Donnelly
Denis Law, Thane o’ Cawdor, Carol Smillie, Harry Lauder
Border tart, Braveheart, Daniel Nardini
Arnold Clark, Rob Roy, Jackie Bird, Peter McCloy
Fran and Anna, Fyffye's banana, Shareen Nanjiani
We didn't start the Parly
Costs were always rising
Because of bad advising
We didn't start the Parly
No they didn't cost it
So we nearly lost it
Wednesday, September 15, 2004
The Fraser Report
It wisnae Donald
And it wisnae me
It wisnae Henry
And it wisnae me
It wisnae Steele
And it wisnae me
It wisnae Miralles
And it wisnae me
It wisnae naebody
But it wisnae me
And it wisnae me
It wisnae Henry
And it wisnae me
It wisnae Steele
And it wisnae me
It wisnae Miralles
And it wisnae me
It wisnae naebody
But it wisnae me
Tuesday, September 07, 2004
Oor parliament's finished
The builders have finished,
Well sort of.
We’ve aw moved in,
More or less.
They’ve cleaned up the mess,
Well most o’ it.
Noo everyone’s happy,
Happy-ish.
It was cheap at £440 million
It…..
Ach forget it.
Well sort of.
We’ve aw moved in,
More or less.
They’ve cleaned up the mess,
Well most o’ it.
Noo everyone’s happy,
Happy-ish.
It was cheap at £440 million
It…..
Ach forget it.
A welcome to wee Nicola
Nicola Sturgeon
Nippy sweetie
Make-up done
By Balfour Beatty
Nicola Sturgeon
Nippy sweetie
Goes like a bunny
Says toilet graffiti
Nippy sweetie
Make-up done
By Balfour Beatty
Nicola Sturgeon
Nippy sweetie
Goes like a bunny
Says toilet graffiti
