The McConnell Log
Some smart Alex once said that Scotland will only be free when the last minister of the Kirk is strangled with the last copy of The Sunday Post. Now, thanks to Jack Topaz McConnell, that has all changed. Now they say that Scotland will only be free when the First Minister is strangled. Wee Jack, however, is much more than mere politician. Unknown to many of his countrymen, he is also poet and tragedian. For better and for verse. Much, much verse. Here, in a style owing much to lauded predecessors such as Burns, McGonagall and Dalglish, is the secret poetry of Jack Topaz McConnell.
Thursday, February 02, 2006
Big Tam takes a flakey
On the occasion of Sean "Big Tam" Connery complaining about the promotion of Scotland, saying he won't support Tartan Day again and saying the people of Scotland should 'take to the streets'.
Whit is it wi’ Big Tam?
The wife-beating
Miserable bam.
He wis a milkman
Fer goad’s sake.
Noo he’s a feckin ham.
The man who wants to be king?
That wis just a film.
He’s an actor. It’s a scam.
So he’s in a huff,
Whit’s feckin new?
Like I should give a damn.
Noo he wants a revolution,
Scots taking to the streets?
The streets o’ the Bahamas?
Whit a feckin sham.
Greatest living Scotsman?
I think you’ll find ah am.
Shut it, big Tam.
Haud yer wheesht.
Whit is it wi’ Big Tam?
The wife-beating
Miserable bam.
He wis a milkman
Fer goad’s sake.
Noo he’s a feckin ham.
The man who wants to be king?
That wis just a film.
He’s an actor. It’s a scam.
So he’s in a huff,
Whit’s feckin new?
Like I should give a damn.
Noo he wants a revolution,
Scots taking to the streets?
The streets o’ the Bahamas?
Whit a feckin sham.
Greatest living Scotsman?
I think you’ll find ah am.
Shut it, big Tam.
Haud yer wheesht.
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