The McConnell Log
Some smart Alex once said that Scotland will only be free when the last minister of the Kirk is strangled with the last copy of The Sunday Post. Now, thanks to Jack Topaz McConnell, that has all changed. Now they say that Scotland will only be free when the First Minister is strangled. Wee Jack, however, is much more than mere politician. Unknown to many of his countrymen, he is also poet and tragedian. For better and for verse. Much, much verse. Here, in a style owing much to lauded predecessors such as Burns, McGonagall and Dalglish, is the secret poetry of Jack Topaz McConnell.
Friday, July 07, 2006
Ode to the wee man
On the sad occasion of the death of one of Scotland’s favourite sons, the much-loved mountaineer, author and broadcaster Tom Weir.
Don’t put away your bobble hat
Climb God’s mountains
Talk the craic
Take lost angels by the hand
Guide them through their own land
Charm them,
Inform and entertain
Show them the Way
And make them smile
Don’t put away your bobble hat
Climb God’s mountains
Talk the craic
Take lost angels by the hand
Guide them through their own land
Charm them,
Inform and entertain
Show them the Way
And make them smile
Ode to Tommy Sheridan (Allegedly)
On the undignified occasion of the court case involving Thomas Sheridan and the News of the World.
But why the fuss? In the words of Karl Marx, “From each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs”. And Tommy needs a shag.
Tommy the Commie
Man of his words
Power to the people
Espeshully the burds
(Allegedly)
Tommy the Tiger
He’s grrrrreat
A socialist, a sexualist
And definitely straight
(Allegedly)
Tommy the Marxist
Tells workers to unite
Nowt to lose but their chains
Tho handcuffs are alright
(Allegedly)
Tommy the Suntan
Wi his face so red
Has a large majority
And a party in his bed
(Allegedly)
But why the fuss? In the words of Karl Marx, “From each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs”. And Tommy needs a shag.
Tommy the Commie
Man of his words
Power to the people
Espeshully the burds
(Allegedly)
Tommy the Tiger
He’s grrrrreat
A socialist, a sexualist
And definitely straight
(Allegedly)
Tommy the Marxist
Tells workers to unite
Nowt to lose but their chains
Tho handcuffs are alright
(Allegedly)
Tommy the Suntan
Wi his face so red
Has a large majority
And a party in his bed
(Allegedly)
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
Obrigado Portugal
An ode to our friends and European neighbours Portugal. Not for any particular reason, you understand. Just because they are great.
Nellie Furtado
Sardines and fado
Carmen Miranda
An Algarve veranda
Phil, Luis and Jose
A nice Mateus Rose
Magellan and Vasco
Christiano Ronaldo
Sam Mendes and Pessoa
Three penalties out of four
Now even Presbyterians
Are loving the Iberians
It’s such a grand locale
Oh obrigado Portugal
Obrigado
Obrigado
Obrigado Portugal
Nellie Furtado
Sardines and fado
Carmen Miranda
An Algarve veranda
Phil, Luis and Jose
A nice Mateus Rose
Magellan and Vasco
Christiano Ronaldo
Sam Mendes and Pessoa
Three penalties out of four
Now even Presbyterians
Are loving the Iberians
It’s such a grand locale
Oh obrigado Portugal
Obrigado
Obrigado
Obrigado Portugal
