tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-39473892007-03-24T10:31:16.935-07:00masterplumberBlogger171tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3947389.post-1098272512564935312004-10-20T04:41:00.000-07:002004-10-20T06:52:05.413-07:00

Hello sweeties I was supposed to be at the opening of something last night. Dashed if I can remember what — a film, an art gallery, a bottle, an envelope. Who can keep up? (Not my Aristotle that’s for sure. If it weren’t for Viagra, I don’t think he could even raise a smile.) Anyway as I was saying before I interrupted myself, I was due to attend some event or other that held promise of

Wee Jacktag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3947389.post-1096392435773993732004-09-28T10:26:00.000-07:002004-09-28T10:27:15.773-07:00

Hello sweeties Gosh what a perfectly dreadful time it has been lately. London has been absolutely sardined with cousins from the country down here protesting about the horrid hunting ban. Now I adore spending time with the rosy-cheeked in-laws when I am in the sticks but town is town and country’s country. Darlings I do believe there hasn’t been so much tweed in the big smoke since they came

Wee Jacktag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3947389.post-1089735093157329222004-07-13T09:11:00.000-07:002004-07-14T03:41:28.566-07:00

Hello sweeties I know, I know. You have been beside your little selves with worry about my erstwhile whereabouts and well-being. Don’t think I am not touched darlings, I truly am. But worry ye not, rumours of my demise, much like Carol Vorderman’s bust, are greatly exaggerated. Mieow. Oh the tittle tattle there has been about Lady P’s non-appearance on the social scene. Much more tittle than

Wee Jacktag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3947389.post-1078845861917955542004-03-09T07:23:00.000-08:002004-03-09T09:04:02.326-08:00

Hello sweeties My what a terrible kerfuffle over those beastly football chaps who have been locked up in Spain. The molesters from Leicester as Hotwire Harry my driver called them this morning. I don’t read the ghastly tabloids myself of course but Harry tells me that the molesters broke into the rooms of some unsuspecting young maidens and forced themselves upon them. Darlings I would not

Wee Jacktag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3947389.post-1075393611823701522004-01-29T08:26:00.000-08:002004-01-29T08:34:55.263-08:00

Hello darlings I was in the House the other night — not my house you understand, a girl has to have a life. No, I was in the Houses of Parliament for a little champagne soiree being thrown by some Tory friends of my acquaint who were celebrating Tiresome Tony about to lose some big vote about student oiks. In the bag it was apparently. Naturally I didn’t want to hear any of the weary details so

Wee Jacktag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3947389.post-1072268816050895152003-12-24T04:26:00.000-08:002003-12-24T04:28:18.250-08:00

Hello sweeties It’s party time yet again and I have drunkled shampoo from Penzance to Pinner in an amazonian effort to bring you all the skinny of the season. And believe me darlings, a girlie of my repute should not be in Pinner unless kidnapped by a gang of asylum seeking rapists. Ah the things a girl must do for some luscious gossip and a bucket of bubbly. But oh was it worth it. Skinny?

Wee Jacktag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3947389.post-1068046009325258362003-11-05T07:26:00.000-08:002003-11-05T07:28:24.936-08:00

Hello sweeties I speak to you this week as a woman shocked and angry. No, Fortnum and Mason haven’t messed up my Bolly order again, thank heaven. I am really quite peeved at this latest media kerfuffle about the Royals. It’s bad enough when the ghastly guttersnipes among the red-tops try to spark revolution by bad-mouthing our Royal family but now we have a supposedly superior journal trying to

Wee Jacktag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3947389.post-1064418553859668332003-09-24T08:48:00.000-07:002003-09-24T08:51:03.860-07:00

Hello sweeties Have you heard? The skinny blonde strumpet who was this month’s Mrs George Best has given the old boy the boot. Poor Georgie. Now if you are looking for some inside skinny on Georgie from Lady P then you must remember that a girl doesn’t kiss and tell. Luckily for you kissing was about the only thing that Georgie and I didn’t do together. We first met in Carnaby Street in the

Wee Jacktag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3947389.post-1060772663895074762003-08-13T04:04:00.000-07:002003-08-13T04:09:13.746-07:00

Hello sweeties You may have read in the better newspapers that it is becoming popular for ladies with a dedication to fashion to have their little toes removed in order to wear decent shoes. And why not indeed? There’s been heaps of predictable brouhaha from bleeding-heart liberals about bleeding-footed fashion victims but really darlings it is just such tosh. If a girl wants to squeeze into a

Wee Jacktag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3947389.post-1057338780008632572003-07-04T10:13:00.000-07:002003-07-04T10:12:59.986-07:00

Oh darlings, isn’t it so terribly sad? Poor little Timmy Henman has been foiled yet again in his quest to win Wimbers. Trust the flaming French to spoil things. I was so sure that Timmy was going to do it this time that I had even cancelled my annual Roger Taylor memorial party that I had planned for Sunday evening. Once a year a group of us girlies get together and swap stories about our time

Wee Jacktag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3947389.post-933158132003-04-26T16:05:00.000-07:002003-05-01T05:07:11.000-07:00

Hello darlings Sometimes seeking out the skinny on the social scene is more than one can possibly bear. To the uninitiated it may seem one endless round of parties, premieres, popstars and poppers. And well I suppose it is. But at other times it can be such a ghastly chore that I have even been known to contemplate getting a job. Only kidding. Yet sometimes the demands of looking impossibly

Wee Jacktag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3947389.post-910003212003-03-19T09:10:00.000-08:002003-03-20T08:28:24.000-08:00

Hello Darlings I am too unaccountably traumatised to give you any social skinny this week. Shocked as I am by the onset of war in this land of ours. Well, I suppose it isn’t actually here, it’s over there, so I can tell you about a super anti-war beano that I went to last night. Yes I know you might be a tad surprised to see lady P line up beside some of the lentil crunchers and lefties that

Wee Jacktag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3947389.post-901826892003-03-05T08:33:00.000-08:002003-03-05T08:37:20.000-08:00

Hello darlings. Lady Pan Jammer here, bringing you the low-down from the social hoe-down of the year at Brighams on the Strand. Well it is only March. We were either saving the whale, raising money for missiles or celebrating Holly Vallance’s new ‘record’. Viva la difference, I say. The main thing is the place was positively dripping with names. Put it this way, the editor of Hello would have

Wee Jacktag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3947389.post-893128492003-02-18T08:23:00.000-08:002003-02-18T08:23:15.946-08:00

Hello sweeties, here’s the skinny on the social scene. And the big news is…. it might be moving out to the sticks. Tristram Parker-Wayne invited me down to his place in Sussex at the weekend to discuss what was going to happen when this dreadful war starts. Not just the two of us, you understand. Goodness no. Polly P-W would have had my garters for guts if she thought it was just me and Lord

Wee Jacktag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3947389.post-883393782003-01-31T10:55:00.000-08:002003-02-12T14:02:37.000-08:00

I am in mourning this morning sweeties. Lady P’s fragile little heart has been split into more pieces than Ulrika Jonnson has had football players. My darlingest little Hernando, the best hairdresser this side of heaven, has passed on into that great salon in the sky. I am truly devastated — I’ve got the premier of Chicago on Friday night and my split ends are ghastly. Apparently Hernando and

Wee Jacktag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3947389.post-875281482003-01-16T03:44:00.000-08:002003-02-07T06:13:28.000-08:00

Well so that was Christmas and what did you do? Another year older, 20 bottles of shampoo. Thank Gucci that's the end of another season of comfort and joy darlings. I have been to more openings, closings, celebrations and no-excuse parties than Jimmy Choo has seats in heaven. I have been ankled, I have been boogalooed and I have been well and truly cabbaged. Old man Bollinger has opened

Wee Jacktag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3947389.post-848654842002-11-21T04:02:00.000-08:002002-12-12T09:03:35.000-08:00

Well sweeties! Aren't the ghastly red-tops having fun with the butler and his boisterous bedroom behaviour? Your ring m'Lord? Meiow. Henny Throckmorton stayed over at the Windsor's once and was so disgusted at not getting rogered by the staff that she nearly asked for her money back. She says it was the first time she had ever asked a footman for a nightcap and actually got a drink.

masterplumber