Hello sweeties It’s party time yet again and I have drunkled shampoo from Penzance to Pinner in an Amazonian effort to bring you all the skinny of the season. And believe me darlings, a girlie of my repute should not be in Pinner unless kidnapped by a gang of asylum seeking rapists. Ah the things… Continue reading Princess Diana
Tight Squeeze
I was rigging up a dishwasher for a family down Ronald Place last week. Don’t know why he couldn’t just have bought her a pair of pink Marigold gloves and saved himself a few quid but who am I to argue. In fact he’d have saved himself a good few quid more if he’d been… Continue reading Tight Squeeze
Princess Diana and the Paparazzi
It’s enough to make me bleedin blood boil, it really is. Three froggie paparazzi have just got away with taking pictures of our Princess Diana, God bless her, on the night she died. It’s flippin misbelievable. These so-called photographers chase the poor, lovely woman to her death, hound her into an underground grave, and they… Continue reading Princess Diana and the Paparazzi
George W Bush
Just yesterday I was fitting a new s-bend for a woman in Richmond Place. I say ‘new’ it was actually a bit second hand and had spent the previous ten years of its existence in a flat round the corner. I say ‘woman’ but I’m not completely bleedin sure it wasn’t her husband in an… Continue reading George W Bush
Auntie Joanna
Hello sweeties I speak to you this week as a woman shocked and angry. No, Fortnum and Mason haven’t messed up my Bolly order again, thank heaven. I am really quite peeved at this latest media kerfuffle about the Royals. It’s bad enough when the ghastly guttersnipes among the red-tops try to spark revolution by… Continue reading Auntie Joanna
Channel 4
Did you see that Derren Brown geezer do that Russian Roulette thing on Channel 4 the other night? Flipping brilliant it was. The only slight disappointment was that the smug git didn’t blow his brains out but you can’t have everything. You’ve got to hand it to Channel 4 though. They may be purveyors of… Continue reading Channel 4
Mrs George Best
Hello sweeties Have you heard? The skinny blonde strumpet who was this month’s Mrs George Best has given the old boy the boot. Poor Georgie. Now if you are looking for some inside skinny on Georgie from Lady P then you must remember that a girl doesn’t kiss and tell. Luckily for you kissing was… Continue reading Mrs George Best
New Shoes
Hello sweeties You may have read in the better newspapers that it is becoming popular for ladies with a dedication to fashion to have their little toes removed in order to wear decent shoes. And why not indeed? There’s been heaps of predictable brouhaha from bleeding-heart liberals about bleeding-footed fashion victims but really darlings it… Continue reading New Shoes
Jeffrey Archer released
Wasn’t it nice to see Lord Archer being released from prison on Monday? The poor man should never have been locked up with common criminals but at least now he can indulge in his own pleasure rather than her Majesty’s. To put a proper lord like Lord Jeffrey away for trying to pervert the course… Continue reading Jeffrey Archer released
Tim Henman
Oh darlings, isn’t it so terribly sad? Poor little Timmy Henman has been foiled yet again in his quest to win Wimbers. Trust the flaming French to spoil things. I was so sure that Timmy was going to do it this time that I had even cancelled my annual Roger Taylor memorial party that I… Continue reading Tim Henman