All About Plumbing

everything you could ever want to know about plumbing. And some more.

Plumbing Legends

Only the very best can enter the Plumbing Hall of Fame

Plumbing Planet

Like the New York Times we print all the news that’s fit to print. Except sometimes we make it up. Too.

Plumbing Reviews

Music, film, restaurants and everything else reviewed by our team of erudite plumbers

Travel Guides

let the Midnight Plumbers tell you about the world. We’ve been everywhere.

Tesco the Oppressor
March 9, 2004 – 10:09 pm | No Comment

Brothers and sisters, a great wrong has been done. I discovered today that my local “Big Issue” seller has been repeatedly moved on from his preferred patch outside Tesco by the management of the store.
I’m …

Crazy like a Fox
March 9, 2004 – 10:00 am | No Comment

Howya
Jaysus it’s a terrible time to be a jockey and it’s all the fault of that feckin eejit Fallon. I’ve been telling him for years that he’d get caught eventually but did he listen? Did …

Footballers Lives
March 9, 2004 – 7:23 am | No Comment

Hello sweeties
My what a terrible kerfuffle over those beastly football chaps who have been locked up in Spain. The molesters from Leicester as Hotwire Harry my driver called them this morning.
I don’t read the ghastly …

Nescafe No More
March 8, 2004 – 10:10 pm | No Comment

Fair trade fortnight is finally here! It’s taken seven years to get off the ground but we’ll finally be able to sink the boot into Nescafe. Gold Blend? That couple would be the first against …

Fer feck’s sake Fallon
March 6, 2004 – 4:19 pm | No Comment

Howya
Oh jaysus. Poor Keiren. He’s really gone and done it this time.
The Fallon fella was only doing his job and making sure his nag didn’t win when it wasn’t supposed to so that the one …

Sea Biscuit? See me.
March 2, 2004 – 8:54 am | No Comment

Howya
Was youse watching the Oscars the other night? Blinding it was apart from that diddy bitch-bag Billy Crystal. You ever seen anyone more in need of a good kick in the bollocks? Me neither.
Anyways it …

Top of the morning line to you
March 2, 2004 – 2:20 am | No Comment

Howya
Being followers of the sport of kings as you are, you’ll have seen me name on your racecard and in your papers and here I am to write for youse every now and again. Me …

Commons
January 29, 2004 – 8:26 am | No Comment

Hello darlings
I was in the House the other night — not my house you understand, a girl has to have a life. No, I was in the Houses of Parliament for a little champagne soiree …

David Kelly RIP
January 28, 2004 – 9:51 am | No Comment

Well blow me down with a gift voucher from B&Q.
I was in this house in Argyll Avenue, up to my elbow in this woman’s waste pipe, when I heard the news on the radio. Turns …

Princess Diana
December 24, 2003 – 4:26 am | No Comment

Hello sweeties
It’s party time yet again and I have drunkled shampoo from Penzance to Pinner in an Amazonian effort to bring you all the skinny of the season. And believe me darlings, a girlie of …