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everything you could ever want to know about plumbing. And some more.

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Only the very best can enter the Plumbing Hall of Fame

Plumbing Planet

Like the New York Times we print all the news that’s fit to print. Except sometimes we make it up. Too.

Plumbing Reviews

Music, film, restaurants and everything else reviewed by our team of erudite plumbers

Travel Guides

let the Midnight Plumbers tell you about the world. We’ve been everywhere.

Review of 2002
December 27, 2002 – 1:12 pm | No Comment

YEARS ARE like pipes – you can look back at them, up them, down them or  along them but you can’t change the crap that was in them. And as I always say, if it’s …

Cherie Oh Baby
December 11, 2002 – 8:57 am | No Comment

Who amongst us hasn’t enlisted the help of the convicted fraudster boyfriend of your former soft-porn actress best friend in order to save a few quid on a house? No, me neither.
Does Mrs Blair really …

November 26, 2002 – 4:54 am | No Comment

Now I’m the last man to stand in the way of someone earning a decent wage but those firefighters are getting right up my hooter.
How can they honestly expect a 40 per cent pay rise …

November 21, 2002 – 4:02 am | No Comment

Well sweeties! Aren’t the ghastly red-tops having fun with the butler and his boisterous bedroom behaviour?
Your ring m’Lord? Meiow.
Henny Throckmorton stayed over at the Windsor’s once and was so disgusted at not getting rogered by …

The Burrell Collection
November 6, 2002 – 2:36 am | No Comment

Having previously written about Mr Paul Burrell, former butler to the blessed Diana, and suggested that he was a thieving git who should be executed, I now discover I was wrong.
Mr Burrell is in fact …

Posh Kidnap
November 5, 2002 – 9:13 am | No Comment

What a rumpus about that so-called kidnap attempt on Mrs Posh Beckham by a gang of crazed Romanian gypsies. As usual the newspapers got it all wrong.
Fair enough, it wasn’t nice that the gypos wanted …

Diana and Burrell
October 15, 2002 – 7:24 am | No Comment

Is there no end to the indignities that poor Princess Diana must suffer?
It’s bad enough that she is being portrayed as a slapper whose ex husband is cavorting around with an elderly horse-faced woman. Now …

One Law for the Rich
October 9, 2002 – 1:06 pm | No Comment

There’s an old newspaper saying that Man Bites Dog is not a story. Dog Bites Man, now that’s different. So why is it when an out of control bull terrier belonging to our beloved Princess …

Major Major
October 3, 2002 – 4:11 am | No Comment

Old John Major, eh? Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more, say no more.
Who would have believed that the old grey man and the egg lady had been going through the yes lobby together all …

Strike It Lucky
October 2, 2002 – 1:38 pm | No Comment

I’ve been called out to fix a few swimming pools in my time. Rich nobs with more money than sense leave something floating in their pools that gum up the works. Lilos, towels, hair, rubber …